bee-ray-tek 2006 predictions

January 1, 2006

here are braytek.com’s predictions for 2006:

Apple ditches Firewire and co-invents new proprietary high speed transfer technology found in new Intel machines
Intel version of OS X spreads like wildfire through the internet. OS X dubbed “unstable” due to problems on unsupported hardware. Hilarity ensues.
Sony PS3 is released Summer 2006 due to “manufacturing and production issues” and crashes with 50% of games. Sony blames Blu Ray.
Sony found liable for new Rootkit in PS3 which steals your fingerprints from controllers. Criminals rejoice as identity theft is made simpler.
XBox 360 re-released with high definition dvd and dubbed “XBox 360 Plus”. 3 packages are sold: XBox 360 Plus Core, XBox 360 Plus Premium, and XBox 360 Plus Premium ++ High Def Extreme Edition
Nintendo Revolution released in Q4 2006 and outsells XBox 360 globally. Numchuck controllers double as self defense weapon for little old ladies.
Microsoft unleashes Window Vista ahead of schedule but supplies are limited. Copies sell on Ebay for $1000.
Cartoon Network buys Japanese anime company for Anime spinoff network in the United States. DirecTV refuses to air, but Comcast embraces.
Apple releases new iPod with Sirius satellite radio integration. .Mac account holders get free Sirius accounts.
Adam Curry’s podcast company develops radio station on XM radio. Premium podcasts broadcasted only. Hilarity ensues at NPR stations worldwide.
Microsoft supporters and employees launch nationwide campaign to denounce the term “podcast” and claim Apple is limiting our choice of words.
USENET crumbles.
Linux kernel hackers get a hold of OS X for x86 and replace existing kernel with modified linux kernel. New OS dubbed “LinuX”
Movabletype is bought out by Microsoft and replaces architecture with .NET.
Wordpress core developers get into internal fued and split. Wordpress forked into two products: “Word up” and “Press these”.
Braytek podcast becomes wildly popular and Bwana sells out to the man. (woo woo!)
Bwana and his wife move to Canada and start a blog complaining about cold weather